Do you read the blog, Momastery? If not, you should. I had not heard of it until a couple of months ago, and it’s quickly becoming one of my favorites. In appearance, her blog seems so simple. But her writing is unbelievable.
The other day I was reading her post, “Don’t Carpe Diem.” You may think it sounds funny that she’s telling you to NOT seize the day. I know I did. Then, I read what she had to say, and I found myself shaking my head, “YES,” right along with her.
While I certainly try to enjoy each and every moment of parenthood, there are times that I’m absolutely not “Carpe Dieming.” Do I Carpe Diem when Lincoln has an explosive poopy diaper? How about when he’s just plain ol’ miserable for really no apparent reason other than to be miserable? Or what about when I thought he broke his arm and we had to take a trip to the ER? Did I enjoy those moments? Let me ask you this question. Who the heck WOULD enjoy those moments? If you think for a split second that I was “Carpe Dieming” right along, well then, you have got to be out of your mind.
Momastery introduced me to Kairos time. She best describes it as, “those magical moments in which time stands still.” Now, Kairos time? Now THAT is what it’s all about.
I can be having a really difficult day with Lincoln, where I’m counting the seconds for my husband to walk through the door. Then, out of nowhere, he’ll run and leap into my arms, wrap his arms around my neck while he rests his head on my shoulder, and give me the most enormous hug. That moment my friends, is Kairos.
Or when I look at Lincoln and he gives me that little smirk of his. That adorable, mischievous smirk. And I look at his eyes, and see how much he looks like his Daddy in that very moment. That moment, is filled with Kairos.
Sometimes when I put Lincoln down for his nap, I’ll tuck him in, give him a kiss, & tell him I love him. He’ll pull the blankets back down, tap the bed, and grab my hand pulling me to lay down with him. He just wants some snuggles with his Momma. And do I do it? You bet. If even for just a little while, until he falls asleep. Or sometimes, I’ll nap with him. These moments won’t last forever. I need to soak them all up while I can.
As you all know, we co-sleep with Lincoln. Some nights are plain ol’ torturous. He’ll be fighting me left and right. Then, out of nowhere, he’ll sit up, cup my cheeks with his tiny hands, and give me a kiss. At that very moment, Kairos completely takes over. It makes all frustrations suddenly disappear, and lets time stand still so I can bottle up that moment, and tuck it away into my heart.
I remember when Lincoln was just an itty bitty tiny babe. Every night I would go into his nursery, turn on his lullaby CD, give him his bottle, and rock him to sleep. It was our very special time. I remember thinking to myself, this time would be short lived. All too soon I would miss rocking this little boy, watching his little eyes flutter and drift off into a peaceful slumber. I held on tight to those moments, and never took them for granted. Kairos. Beautiful, Kairos.
So, don’t feel like you’re doing something wrong if you’re not “Carpe Dieming” every single second of your life. If you have those magical moments of Kairos, that’s all that really matters. Those little moments. Those perfect, beautiful, magical moments. That’s what life is all about.