Today’s featured guest blogger is one of my awesome internet Mommy friends. I’ve *known* Lady for a couple of years now, and honestly, I just adore her and her little family. She is funny, smart, beautiful, honestly I wish we didn’t live across the country from one another! Please check her out at The Lady is…In. You won’t be disappointed!!
Today I ditched my usual uniform of hooded sweatshirt and jeans for… wait for it… a regular sweater and jeans. and I didn’t put my hair in a ponytail. and when I emerged from the bathroom my 2 year old said “mommy go to work?”
Hrm. I don’t work. But Elliot watches his dad get “dressed up” every morning and because I took a second to put myself together Elliot thought I had somewhere important to go.Methinks I should be making a bit of an “effort” more often.
I don’t mean an effort for my husband’s sake (although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing me looking less schlumptastic now and then.) I mean an effort for MY sake.
Moms’ needs tend to become a last priority; even the cats eat lunch before I do around here. After I feed the boys, get them down, and hash out the stinky cat food I grab a handful of this and a swig of that for myself and call it good. There was a day last week where I started to get a POUNDING headache at noon and was genuinely puzzled as to its source. I thought “I’ve had 2 cups of coffee today, this isn’t a caffeine headache… what is it?!” and then I realized… I hadn’t had a single thing to eat. I had been up since 6 am, and had fed both my boys 2 meals by then, but hadn’t managed to remember to feed myself. This is a problem.
The appearance thing, this “making an effort” isn’t just about looking nice. It’s about taking a few minutes at the start of my day to focus on MYSELF, something I honestly rarely do these days. It’s about taking the time to make a choice that will make me feel my best for the rest of the day. Whether that choice be oh, I don’t know, EATING or taking a minute to put on some make up.
While moms often end up coming in last, I’m finding that I am often the only one putting myself there. It’s a hard thing to do as a mom, to take selfish moments. But to take a moment to take care of myself actually makes me a better MOM. It isn’t just about ditching an ill-fitting sweatshirt either. That little headache I unintentionally starved myself into? It took me over 24 hours to get rid of it, and for those 24 hours I was definitely not at my best in the Mom department. So focusing on what makes me feel better as an individual is a good thing for my boys, my husband and – yes – for me too.
So sometimes focusing on me might mean letting go of the uber-present ponytail, some days it might mean some mascara, and other days it might mean slipping on my favorite, completely stretched-out hoodie. (Hey, wearing pjs all day if you want to is one of the perks of the job as well.) But taking a moment is some days the only way to make sure that I’m a Mom who is fed. And other days taking that moment is what makes me a mom who feels pulled-together, which makes me a Mom who feels good about herself. All of those things make me better for my boys so… focusing on ME every now and then is actually not selfish at all.
Elliot is out “golfing, on the GOLF COURSE” with his dad, and Grayson is babbling happily to himself in the crib. I could go get him… or I could take a moment to eat some breakfast. Breakfast it is.