I promised that I would keep you all updated on my progress with dealing with my anxiety & panic disorder, so….here we are again. I say “deal with it,” because there’s really no such way to get rid of it, in a sense. It’s a disorder, so I need to learn coping strategies to be able to basically kick this thing in the balls! Okay, maybe that was quite graphic, and not necessarily the comparison I was looking for….but, I think you got the picture.
Okay, let me first begin by telling you I’m going to a treatment center that specializes in anxiety & panic disorder specifically…so it’s perfect, really. First I met with a psychiatrist. My therapist wanted me to meet with one of their doctors to go over the medication I am currently taking. This lady pissed me off, not once, but twice.
She had to evaluate me. She basically had to rule out any other disorders I might be suffering from; such as depression, ocd, adhd, suicide thoughts, amongst several other things. This didn’t bother me, I understood she needed to do this assessment. Turns out, I just have anxiety & panic disorder…which, of course I already knew.
Now comes the fun part. She finds out we live next to my inlaws. She asked about my relationship with them, and I was honest. I mean, they’re not awful people…but, unfortunately Jared & I both do not trust them to watch Lincoln. She didn’t understand why, so I had to provide examples. The first one that came to mind was that my Mother inlaw wanted to give Lincoln a teether she found in her basement from when her 40 year old son was a baby. This in my book, was absolutely NOT okay. The psychiatrist didn’t understand what the big deal was!!!?!?!?!?! She thought I was being a little too protective. She then thought I was a germ-o-phobe. So now I have to explain to her that teethers are very personal items and a lot of toys and such back then contained lead.
Okay, so she still doesn’t seem to get it. I search for another example [they’re easy to come by]. I tell her about a time we were at a family party, and the hosts had their basement door open to let heat up into the house. Lincoln was running around the house like a crazy man, and I was following him. My mother inlaw said, “he’s fine you don’t have to worry so much.” I told her about the door being open, and the stairs. Her response, “oh, he’ll just bounce down them.” !?!?!??!!!!!! Okay, now the psychiatrist finally believes me. She’s a wackadoo! Phewww!
Okay, now here comes me getting pissed time #2. She says, “I see you’re a stay at home Mom. You only have one child, so your days mustn’t be so busy.”
Are you for real lady? I mean, do you even have children. Have you EVER been a stay at home Mom?
I didn’t actually ask her those questions, because I didn’t have to. I knew the answer already. I told her my days are VERY busy…I have a VERY active little boy. I’m always doing something.
That REALLY irks me when people assume SAHMs have it easy. Seriously, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I LOVE being home with my sweet boy. But for goodness sake, I am VERY busy.
Okay, so the conclusion of that appointment was to up the current dose of the medication I have been taking for the past 10 years, zoloft. I was on 100mg, and now I’m going up to 150mg. Thankfully, this wasn’t my therapist, because her ass would have been fired.
Next, I had my appointment with my therapist. This lady rocks. Seriously, she’s awesome, and she understands EXACTLY what I’m going through, in regards to the anxiety/panic. That appointment went great. I really don’t have much to say about that one, but I like her, and I like where things seem to be going. I think that’s all that really matters.
So that was my morning. Well, two hours of my morning. But, let me tell you, it wiped me out! Talking is freakin’ exhausting….& I’m a talker!!
Now, I’m enjoying the rest of my evening with my sweet boy. Hope you all had a great day!