If you missed my initial post on anxiety & panic disorder, you can get caught up here.
I had my first appointment yesterday with my therapist, to hopefully help me get my anxiety & panic under control. It’s crazy, but I actually had anxiety, about going to an appointment to HELP me with my anxiety! Ahhh, don’t you love the way your mind can work sometimes?!
Anyways, I immediately felt at ease. She was SO easy to talk to. The first appointment was pretty much to just get a lot of my background and family history. I’ve had a lot go on in my 29 years of life. Aside from the Osteogenesis Imperfecta [which I really don’t think adds to my panic, I’ve lived with this condition my entire life…it’s all I know], but besides that, the past two years in particularly have been quite eventful for me. It started off with a miscarriage, then I was suddenly diagnosed with thyroid cancer, my Dad needs a liver transplant, my Aunt had kidney cancer and had to undergo chemo therapy. Not to mention that when we got married 3 1/2 years ago, I moved away from my family….and now get to deal with my crazy inlaws.
Phewww!!!!! Seriously, and I wonder why I’m a mess!
There is also history of anxiety & panic disorder in my family. My Mom has always experienced it, so lucky me, I inherited that gene.
She said I most certainly definitely have a panic disorder. This means, it’s always with me in a sense. There will be times in my life when it’s not there at all, and others, when it sneaks up on me, literally out of nowhere. I also have agoraphobia, which is fear of open spaces. Driving on the highway bothers me. And, this might sound silly, but the back of large department stores can trigger an attack. Being so incredibly far away from an exit in a building, can send me over the edge. Yeah. I’m a wreck, ha!
The plan right now, is to meet with one of the doctor’s there to evaluate the medication I’m currently taking. I’ve been taking Zoloft since I was 19. I will also be seeing this therapist weekly. For now that’s the plan. I am really proud of myself for taking this first step. The idea of actually getting help has always sounded scary to me. But, now that I’ve started the process, I’m really really excited to take control of my life.